| preludes to nocturnes | ||
 | it is with great displeasure that i introduce the moments in life with the highest aspirin requirements: the turning points. i have quit my job, have no particular focus in life, yet to finish half of my book (which is due 2 days from now, effectively 1 because i'll be out tomorrow), stuck on mt coronet trying to catch a modest dialga, have no particular focus in virtual life and waiting for the school matriculation/camps to commence. and oliver turned 21. it is in these non-moments, in which nothing ever happens but the clock continues ticking, i feel so distressed. i start wondering what the big fuss is, over the lack of places in local universities (and i link to mrwang, because it's a free site and he tries to be objective, although in recent posts has failed to do so, but he is not to be faulted because we live in a country that breaks hearts), and i ponder upon what my driving instructor has to say about foreign 'talent'. but everyone misses my point: that we should begin increasing the value of bursaries and cutting taxpayer contributions to scholarships. you can tell i don't really care about climate change. until it successfully deteriorates my social behaviour. yet, that ceases to matter when i feel disconnected enough to feel alright about leaving people behind. i remember a middle-aged man and woman whom, clearly evident from the accessories and fashion-sense they carry with such slack ignorance, have gone through their early years as the stereotypical lian and beng of yesteryear singapore. and i remember feeling thankful for my mom being a university graduate. on the way to chong's last night, i watched a girl with down's syndrome - dressed so fashionably, like a doll - weep silently on the bus, on her way home, doting parents by her side. and my heart bleeds, lost. i read a bit of sandman this morning while waiting for chong and oliver to wake up, and i was hit by the realisation of how fleeting everything really is. From the darkness I hear the beating of mighty wings... Labels: spirit |
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yunfei, male. born 16 oct 1986. unfucked, unloved, unknown. |
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